Relationship Problems?
I get it
I know what it's like to love someone and not be able to let them in.
To self-sabotage again and again and again.
To be waiting for your real life to start
My Story
When I was twenty, I had almost no capacity for real connection. I had addictions. Mental health issues. And self that felt foreign even to me. Being close to another person wasn't something I knew how to do — or even wanted to do.
Then, I spent twenty years in a relationship with a woman who was patient, persistent, and became a psychotherapist during our time together. She kept reaching toward me. I kept pulling away. She'd get closer and I'd find a way to create distance — not always consciously, not always dramatically, but reliably.
I didn't know I was doing it. I just knew that intimacy felt like a threat.
When that relationship ended, I was devastated in a way I hadn't expected. I spent weeks sleeping in my car, sleepless, crying, and undone — grieving not just her, but twenty years of showing up halfway.
That was the breaking point.
What followed wasn't a straight line. It so seldom is…
I found men's work — real men's circles, not networking events or drinking buddies. An older man pulled me into embrace and literally held me past the point of comfort. Shame processes brought me to my knees. The rush of healthy confrontation from other men became a weekly ritual.
It was the first time connection had ever held my feet to the fire.
I traveled. I met people who stunned me with their aliveness. I started a podcast about gender and relationships — 101 anonymous interviews with people willing to tell the truth about their interior lives — and discovered I had more to say than I'd realized.
I found somatic work and meditation. It returned me to my heart in a way that years of therapy could not. Not because therapy is useless — but because the work that finally moved things wasn't happening in my head. It was happening in more deeply — in my body.
I trained as an advanced Somatica sex and relationship coach. I completed the Mankind Project's I-Group Facilitation Training. I kept sitting in circles, kept doing the work, kept learning what it means to come home to yourself.
Yes, I wasted years in therapy. I also needed every one of them to get here.
Where I Am Now
I'm intentionally solo. Not because I've given up on relationships — in the last few years, I've had two of the most connected, honest, genuinely intimate relationships of my life. I know now what’s possible and what I'm capable of.
I'm a work in progress and complete at the same time.
Why I Work With Men
I work with men because I am one who needed this — and couldn't find it.
Personally, I didn’t need to talk about my problems more; I needed someone to help me work with what was happening in my body, meet the parts of me that were running the show, and find my way back to myself in the present moment.
Therapy isn’t a fit for most men, but something like therapy is badly needed.
That's what I do with the men I work with.
Why I Work With Men
I work with men because I am one who needed this — and couldn't find it.
Personally, I didn’t need to talk about my problems more; I needed someone to help me work with what was happening in my body, meet the parts of me that were running the show, and find my way back to myself in the present moment.
Therapy isn’t a fit for most men, but something like therapy is badly needed.
That's what I do with the men I work with.
Credentials
Certified Advanced Somatica Sex and Relationship Coach
Mankind Project I-Group Facilitation Training
Nearly ten years facilitating and participating in men's circles
Host of the podcast A Bunch of Anonymous Interviews with Men — honest conversations about the interior lives of men